Gender is a social construction; a category of difference invested with meaning. As Simone du Beauvoir states: “one is not born a woman; one becomes a woman”. In light of our assigned readings this week, please write (in 4 paragraphs) a mini-“gender autobiography” for yourself. The two readings for your on-line module are larger examples of this. Make this a personal story. Think of your early years, how was gender inscribed by the key people and institutions in your life? What were the primary expectations about how you were to behave, think, feel, etc. Did you ever feel limitations or restraints (or advantages) for what you could and could not do; who you could and could not be based on dominant gender assumptions? Then, as you have grown, how do you “do gender”; in what ways do you perform, practice, embody your gender? What are the dominant “scripts” that influence how you “do gender”? Where do they come from? Do you ever challenge gender normativity or normative gender differences? How?
When I was young, my family influenced me in many potential ways for me to grow up and be a mature and independent woman. My family was down to earth, but when it came down to getting the job done, they were very hardworking towards many situations whether it be socially or economically based. I have watched that trait throughout my life and it has also taught me to be the same way throughout my life span when obstacles occur. My parents got a divorce, and watching my mom be a single mother raising two children has also inspired me that women can be very independent women, and it doesn’t take someone else for them to succeed in life. I have grown up helping my mom out in many situations, and I have watched her pay bills, and that has really taught me to be a hard-worker and independent woman even when times are down.
ReplyDeleteThe key people I was around never had any primary expectations for me to overcome, but if so it was mainly to not be so shy and timid around others. I used to be very shy around the people I wasn’t around all the time, and as I got older I have grown out of that just by being exposed to different situations. My mom influenced that by moving her two children to a different city and putting them in a different school system. The move influenced me as definitely a change in my life, but it also helped me to learn to overcome my shyness, and have more self-confidence within myself. I felt like a new person when I was at a different school, and because of that I became more open-minded towards people.
I never felt like a person I couldn’t be because the people I was around accepted me for who I was. While growing up, I also had a tendency to let people run all over me at times and take charge of situations, when I should have been the one to do that as well. As I matured, and was exposed to a more variety of people and being part of different situations , I learned to overcome that by taking charge myself, and standing up for what I believe in. My family really influenced me towards that trait, just by raising me to be an independent woman, where I can handle things on my own.
As I have grown, I have gendered by looking up to my family’s traits they had and were raised within. I feel like I have become the hardworking and independent woman they have raised me up to be, in which I hope to inspire and carry on to my family as well. When I was little, I would walk around and be the shy girl, but as of today I can walk around and be the self-confident woman by taking charge within situations I am exposed to. I would say I “do gender” by walking campus and being myself towards people, and realizing they will learn to accept me for I am. These traits have definitely been passed down from my family and close friends I have been influenced around. I feel like I challenge gender normativity because in my opinion, most women are trying to be the independent and hard-worker at some point in their lives by fulfilling high self-confidence in many different situations.
As a young girl raised in the deep south I was always taught to "act like a lady." I was to sit in church with my stockings and ruffle socks with my legs crossed. If I ever even considered being active I had to choose between cheerleading or dancing. Volleyball, basketball, or soccer was never really an option for me. This served as a very important part of me and has contributed to the girl I am today.
ReplyDeleteI began cheering in the fourth grade and thought that being a girl was the best thing in the world. While fluttering in my short skirt while the football players on the pee-wee squad stared at me was the best thing ever. As I got older I learned that your body changes and it will no longer just be the younger boys looking at you anymore. This is when my mother began teaching me how to act as a "young lady."
When my older sister began rejecting skirts and ribbons my parents grew concerned. They thought that maybe she was headed in the wrong direction. Later they learned that it was only just a phase and they had nothing to worry about.
In elementary I never experienced limitations on the activites I could participate in but the ones that involved getting to dirty I had no intentions on playing anyway. When I began cheering in high school my sponser stressed what women should do and what they shouldn't. We were not allowed to hold a guy's hand, kiss a guy or sit in an inappropriate way while in uniform.
As I've gotten older I can't say that I've ever challenged these things that I was brought up to beleive. I was never taught to walk behind a man or bow down to any male but just to act as a lady. I don't feel like anything that anyone has ever taught me has hendered me in ayway.
Without a doubt in mind, I believe that gender is a social construction. Growing up, I had many influential people in my life. I have four older brothers, three sisters and two loving parents. I have always been raised to become someone who is a strong independent. My parents have had a majority of that influence over me, especially my father. My father was forced to become completely independent at a young age. He definitely left an impression on me as to how to become a successful independent such as himself.
ReplyDeleteMy family and I are very close and always have been. Growing up having four brothers may make it seem easy for the girls but it was not. My parents never treated one of us better than the other. There were many expectations for us and they were always set high but equally. This gave all of us an equal opportunity for everything including sports, academics etc. So the two most gender influential people in my life growing up were my parents. As I got older I started to idolize my older sister, Nicole. She has become a major role model of mine over the past few years. She is a very independent and strong woman who I would say is a strong feminist.
I went to a private, Catholic middle and high school. Expectations were also held high during these years of my life. I felt as though I was to “act like a lady”. In my mind at the time, acting like a lady meant to always use manners and be on your best behavior. I was never influenced how to think. I was always encouraged to think as I pleased. I never felt any limitations or restraints to what I could or could not do.
I have learned a lot about my gender and ways I should use it. My sister has been the main influence in my recent years. She has taught me to be a strong independent woman. She has a husband and two kids and loves them very much. She has taught me to never feel as though you are not as good as anyone else. I feel that I can do anything a male can do. The way that I do gender is by being a strong individual.
I am a girl and damn proud to be one. I've been raised to know that I can absolutely do anything I set my heart on and work for. I've never really felt any limitations on what I wanted to do as I grew up, but as I think back on it now, what I chose to do was mainly women related.
ReplyDeleteI was very shy as a child and it took me a while to grow into my confidence. I have one older sister who was always the loud, out spoken one, but in a good way. Watching her go through middle school and high school she was definitely a role model for me. We danced together for over ten years, and when she started to cheer, so did I. I don't regret following in her footsteps because they have taken us in completely different directions. I tried out for cheerleading in the sixth grade and to my surprise, I actually made the team. Little did I know at the time how far cheerleading would take me. (as weird as that sounds). I started an All Star competition team until I got to high school and cheered on the school's competition team. Its such a girl empowering sport (and yes, what I did was absolutely a sport) and it really helped me grow out of my shyness. It's also probably the one place I can think of that isn't male dominant, on the contrary actually, it's almost frowned upon to be a male cheerleader by people who don't understand what kind of sport it is. Which makes me think about why it's bad for guys to cheer, is it because it's woman dominant and men shouldn't give in to something that women mainly 'control' (for lack of a better word). Or is it simply because men only want to watch women flounce around on the football field in short skirts? Any way.. I went on to cheer during college and it brought me the opportunity to meet some really important people and even been on ESPN one year, which is pretty cool to me. As for my sister, the training led her to be able to keep her priorities in line for school and got through nursing school and an awesome job right out of college.
Both of my parents are lawyers, but do completely different work. My father is a district attorney and my mother does legal work for banks and big realty agents (I honestly couldn't tell you what she actually does, it's so confusing). But watching both of my parents go after what they really wanted to do is what has taught me to be independent and go for the things I want in life. My mother especially. She is from Albertville AL, a really small town if you've never heard of it, grew up on a chicken farm, and has four siblings. She went to Birmingham Southern and made it to Alabama's law school when she graduated. She didn't let being from a small town, or being a woman, stop her. She wanted to be successful, and that's just what she did.
My sister, again, is some one who has completely influenced my life. When she was in college here at bama she was very driven. She attended the Capstone College of Nursing, got in a semester early, and graduated on time, which not all nursing majors do. She immediately had job offers at UAB and Children's Hospital in Birmingham and now works in the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit at UAB. I don't know how she does it though, I can't stand the sight of blood. None the less, she has also been a big inspiration for me to be independent and not let anything stop me from doing what I want to do.
Being a woman is something I am very proud of. I am proud to say that I am part of a group that has over come so much in history and still today. Reading all these articles definitely enhance my feelings about this because now I have a better understanding of what feminists really went through so my mom, my sister, and I can have the opportunities that we want. I never see myself as some one to follow a man for the rest of my life, I do want to get married, but I want to work and have my own career, just like my mom does, and many other women. This is a growing trend and it shouldn't be stopped!!
Growing up and having to move to 8 different states and being an only child my parents never really set any true boundaries for me. This gave me the chance to explore all different areas of interest for me. However, I always decided to lean towards what women would do.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a child I was super shy and always considered "the new girl." I never had many friends the first few states we lived in. In the first grade I decided to pick up gymnastics and little to my surprise it became something I loved. When I started to move up levels it gave me this power, like I could do anything in the world. But it only helped me make friends on the gymnastics team, not anyone at my schools. Then when I moved into the state I live in now I decided to try out for my high schools cheerleading team. When I walked into the room for tryouts it gave me a chance to see there are other girls just like me. After the 3 days of tryouts I had many friends and made the varsity competition team as a freshman, what a confidence boost. After that I felt my shyness slip away as school started and people would come up and talk to me.
However, when I started to play lacrosse is when I felt I was equal, even maybe more powerful, to a lot of guys from my school. Our girls lacrosse team has made it into the state playoffs every single year, were the guys have yet to make it in. It was so empowering to see that girls could be just as good as guys. They would all make sly comments to us, but I knew most of them were just mad. I didn't know my junior and senior year I would have the chance to lead our team to the last rounds of state playoffs. Having my name called to have me run onto the stadium field as a captain was the most uplifting, thrilling thing ever. We even had our guys team sitting there dressed up as girls lacrosse players yelling and cheering us on. It was like they were our cheerleaders. This made it seem like they had switched the typical roles with us.
My parents were my main roles of influence since they were the only people who were always there. And I was the one person who was influenced, since I was the only child and their pride and joy. They were both born and raised in Boston and they taught me to northern hard work ethic and that to always go for my dreams. My dad was actually the main person who influenced me. He taught me that no matter who you are, race, gender or size you can always achieve your dreams. He went from being a small town boy from Northbridge, MA, (and if people don't know where that is it's only population is about 346 people) to running a transplant system at a well known hospital in Georgia. As we have moved he has taught me to be a hardworking northerner, a sweet southern belle, and a easy going western. And from all of those they expect me to always stay true to myself and to never stop reaching for my dreams.
Being a woman is AWESOME. We can do things from owning the boys on the lacrosse field to achieving our dreams and make something for ourselves. We just have to stay strong and know that we can do it no matter what gender we are. Even though my dad was my main influence growing up it doesn't make me think that I am limited. I know I will be my independent self when I grow up.
Growing up in the south, there was certain male and certain female characteristics. My dad made this extremely clear to me. Men were looked at as the provider, the head of household, the one who had the “last say so”, and the figure of authority. There was a fine line between masculinity and femininity. When I was a little boy, we used to stay outside and do things that required a lot of strength. He left everything in the household such as cooking, cleaning, and managing the expenses to my mother.
ReplyDeleteMy mom also helped form my opinion. She accepted her role as a woman by always having a hot meal ready, cleaning up the house, making sure we were doing our work in school, and many other things. She stayed at home while my dad went out to work. My dad’s opinion of my mom’s role was completely different from mine. He thought that since he was providing “most” of the income, his role was more important. I saw how my mom would do things that my dad couldn’t even compare to.
School was another thing that helped me establish my opinion. Boys had to wear their shirts tucked in and the girls had to wear clothes that weren’t too revealing. I remember in fifth grade, we had to break off into sections and have “the talk”. The boys went into one room and the girls went into the other. I was embarrassed at first because I wasn’t used to talking to other people about things like that besides members of my family.
After seeing the difference between males and females by means of education and experience, I had my mind set. I used to wonder why women had it so easy; why some people didn’t act like a boy or girl, why we act the way we do when we see something out of the ordinary. My final thought was no matter what you are either boy or girl, you are who you are and the only person that can change that is you. That’s why I am completely comfortable with who I am… a young man.
When I was growing up my family moved around a lot. I went to eleven different schools before I came to college and lived in nine different states. At the time the moves were fun, exciting and sometimes difficult but looking back they formed the person I am today along with the support of my mother, father, family members and the many new friends and teachers I met. I was always the “new girl” and since I constantly had that label I felt more eyes were on me than the average student. Along with being the new girl I was forced to make friends with new groups of kids every year and decided who I was and who I was going to fit in with.
ReplyDeleteThe primary expectations from my parents were simple and easy, they just wanted me to be comfortable and fit in. They never added any extra pressure on how I was supposed to dress or what activities they thought I should be involved in. If I wanted to play sports, dance, dress in pink, or wear a baseball hat and chew gum, they let me. They understood the difficulties of moving and did a fabulous job of allowing me to figure out who I am and who I wanted to be. Of course they made sure I was making good choices that would not harm myself but for the most part I either made good decisions or made poor ones and learned from them.
From my family I was never restrained by gender but once I got into grade school my peers made it very apparent the limitations that were set. I remember once starting at a new school in Cleveland, OH and going out on the playground. At my old school there were less students so both boys and girls played soccer, dodgeball and other activities together to make the teams even. I realized when I walked out onto this playground that girls did NOT play any of these games but instead played this little string game with their fingers. I had never seen they string game before so I did not know how to play and since no girls were playing kickball I felt extremely out of place. I remember crying when I got home and telling my mom I wanted to learn the string game. She bought it for me to learn but encouraged me to try and play kickball. A week or two later I found a friend that was a girl and convinced her to ask to play kickball with me. We got up the courage to ask the boys and to my surprise they did not even hesitate to say yes and put us on a team. I think this was one of the major events in my early life that gave me the courage to do what I want even if nobody else is.
To this day I still see myself as the girl who does what she wants in any type of setting. I am confident to step out of the norm and be a part of something others may be too hesitant to try just because society thinks different. I credit this to my parents positive attitude to all people and the thought of being happy as the most important idea. I also credit the many moves and having to make friends everywhere I went. It is a skill I learned at a young age and I am glad I posses it to this day. I enjoy all people thoroughly and I enjoy peoples differences and realize that is what makes them so exciting.
When I was growing up, I always thought that being a boy or a girl is what determined your gender. You know when you go through that stage when girls think boys are gross and vice versa. But in fact, I feel that just being a girl or boy is not what makes up your gender. I feel that it is the environment that you was raised in as a kid that influences your gender.
ReplyDeleteWell growing up for me was not a typical child hood. I was an only child and I stayed with my mother. She raised me as a single mother. My dad has never done too much for me so I was always missing a main male figure in my life. With this being said, I was around alot of females at times and developed a soft side to me and got in touch with my feminine side. Still till this day I still have some what of an emotional side.
About mid-ways through my child hood, I started getting involved in sports and making new friends. After that, I started getting tougher than what I use to be. I then started to get a more manly side to me. I also had some help of some of my uncles and cousins that tried to fill the spot where my dad was suppose to be.
For me to have been raised the way I was, I honestly believe that gender is not determined by your sex. Your gender has to be achieved. From experience, your gender is learned from the environment you grew in. But today I will say that I am a man with a soft spot for women's feelings.
I believe that every girl goes through the stage when they are younger of either being extremely girly, or an extreme tomboy. On the playground, there are the girls who are playing power rangers and the others who are playing pretty pretty princess. However, when a girl is born, her room is painted pink. Pink is a color that supposed to represent the feminism that comes along with being a girl. This is an example of how a girl is immediately immersed in her gender from birth.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was little, I was obsessed with sports, which is not something most girls love as a little girl. I didn't want to play with dolls or do ballet. My idea of fun was running around playing soccer with my dad.
As I transitioned into middle school, I became completely all-girl. i was doing things that normal middle school girls traditionally do. I started to wear makeup, was a cheerleader, and loved trips to the mall. I took a great interest in what I thought of at the time as fashion. I felt that it was time I started "dating" and I became aware of my appearance. Also around this time, i began giving up sports like soccer and running to spend time doing more girly things.
However, now-a-days I think of my self as a girl who choses what she like. Regardless of my sex, I am free to participate in whatever activities I choose to. I do not believe society should limit women to certain sports or certain clothes simply because of their sex.
As far back as i can remember my mom was a great influence on my gender. She would dress me up in dresses,pierced my earscat the age of two and always bought me baby dolls and barbies to play with. This is how my mom shaped me into becoming a woman, which is by influenceing me and my environment around feminicity.
ReplyDeleteThere were not really expectations on me of how to act especiallaly since I was young and learning from authortives on how to act.however my expectations from my parents were to be incontrol anf act normal out in public, to obey orders from others and be friendly around my friends and others.
My limitations of being a kid were things such as recieveing a childrens menu at a resturaunt, not being able to hear or say certain words, and also the fashion pf a young child is very differremt than being a teenager or woman.
As I have grown up the term gender has chamged meanigs to the idea of being and realizing the fact of becoming a woman. I have growb up mebtally and physically. My physique and way of life has changed due to the fact of influences from reality tv, friends, and expectations of what an 18 year old girl should act and look like. The way I perform my gender is by the way I dress, and wearing makeup.
I do not ever challenge gender normativity differences unless I happen to come across for instance a homosexual. Its not that i am soially awkward around thwm its the fact that the way I was brought up was to not be lije those kind kf people. However knowing from my parents and peers and learing what the expectations are of a normal female you must not judge someine based on how you percieve them.
Growing up with a tough childhood, really made me grow up fast. I was always told that I was wise beyond my years. When my parents were going through a custody battle for my brother and I when I was eight, I was fully aware of my surroundings and my influence on my parents. My mother had some terrible addictions she was struggling with, so I always promised myself that I would never follow down her path. I guess you could say I've been an extremely independent woman for most of my life.
ReplyDeleteHaving my father raise me really put a tole on my "girliness, and feminine qualities." I think that's where I got most of my wit, and outspoken opinions from. I know that if I was living with my mother, I wouldn't have been able to get away with not nearly as much stuff. But I am blessed that my father is such a good man. He never judges anyone by their race, gender, sexuality. I always admired him for that because he is what I would call the epitome of masculinity. As we saw in Wednesday lecture a lot of negative sterotypes could attach to that word, but my father is so open to everyone and everything. That has definitely carried over to the way I live my life.
I'm on the UA Speech and Debate, and being a woman has a very different role in this activity. First of all, most people look at me with 5 heads when I tell them that I am on it. But the energy always shifts when a woman walks in to debate. You can feel it in the room. It's much harder to sometimes sway a judge to your side because bias opinions that the judge could have. It has done nothing but motivate me to work harder and win more competitons overall. Many times I feel like the men get very intimidated by woman who partake in this activity. Even if I'm out with friends and I meet someone and they ask me what do I do, I tell them and they immediately sober up and try to "debate" me. It's pretty funny seeing how hungry the men are for competition when a woman tells them they could definitely win an argument.
Gender construction has always been something I am interested in. Last year for speech I put together an informative speec about the transgendered community. I am a big advocate of acceptance because of societies ever steady growing pains with people who are transgendered.The film documentary "Trinadad" explains all of the internal struggles a person goes through when feeling that they are not meant to be a certain gender. That's why I am a firm believer that gender is made. But it something that people should embrace from all aspects. The strive for acceptance is a long journey that hopefully one day people will be able to see.
Growing up as the youngest of four definitely taught me a lot about manhood. I have two older sisters who I usually went to school with for a while and a half brother who wasn’t always around but still had the opportunity to teach me how to be a man and follow the good examples he set for me. Being around girls in my family often with my father at work all the time, it became easy for me to distinguish the differences in emotions between male and female.
ReplyDeletePlaying sports was a key element of my life that introduced me to being tough and playing together as a team. Throughout my life I’ve always had really good coaches who been great role models for me and taught me everything I know about character. Because I was around my sisters and mother a lot growing up, it has changed the way I treat women today. I can easily understand their problems more often and connect to them emotionally.
My mom has always been the one who I can connect with and she is the one who can bring out my true emotions. She is somewhat sensitive and I can tell that a little bit of that has rubbed off on me. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always had the reputation of being a big tough football player but I’m not afraid to shed a tear here and there. My dad has always been the one who beats me in arguments and teaches me life lessons. Whenever I made or make mistakes he has always gotten on me to strive to do better. I’m his last child so I see why he takes my actions so seriously. He’s a lawyer, which makes him always right if I ever try to argue with him. I wasted a lot of my time as a teenager arguing with him, but it actually did teach me more about making smart decisions and listening to my mom the first time before she calls dad in the room.
I agree with the theory that your gender is achieved throughout life experiences, its not just handed to you. You have to listen to people and learn form those who are older than you to grow into your gender. I have never really challenged normative gender differences just because of who I am and the way I have been raised. I went to a Catholic school in San Diego where I was introduced to vast amounts of different people. There I learned to accept everyone and give most people a chance to get to know me. I’m a really friendly guy and I never have liked having any enemies. Making this huge change from Southern California to the Deep South of Alabama has really opened my eyes to the real world. I’m not only living on my own, but I am being introduced to a whole new world and completely different people who I sometimes have to find a way to relate to. This experience has already made me more of a man because being far away from my friends and family makes me stronger as a person and makes home ten times better to visit.
There is no doubt that gender is a social construction.I can easily recognize all the things in my life, whether it be my family or entertainment, techers and even laws that shaped my into becoming a woman. My grandmother wanted me to be the epitome of a southern belle. I was never allowed to open my own doors, eat with my hands, or wear pants (until highschool). As ridiculous as that all sounds, my grandmother truly believed that i had to, "become a woman."
ReplyDeleteI am a girly girl. I love to cry and complain about my weight and think about boys…all the time. I pray for my prince charming to come rescue me. I don’t like dirt, or being dirty, or the thought of being dirty. I wear heels everyday even though they’re painful. Did I mention I cry, a lot, about everything? I can think back to being a toddler. My first Christmas gifts were always dolls and tea sets and dress up clothes. My older brother would get bikes and video games and playing cards. I couldn’t have been more jealous. I loved Pokémon and wrestling but I was never allowed to express it. After school when he’d go outside and play in the yard with his friends I was getting ready for dance lessons and etiquette classes. I had to grow up to be a lady, “Someone to love,” as my grandmother would put it. Would someone not love me if I liked Hulk Hogan? Or if I’d rather watch Pokémon on Saturday mornings rather than learn the proper way to cross my legs? “A lady crosses at the ankles; you encourage promiscuity when you don’t cross at all.” I hated my life. By the time I was in high school however, I loved dance. I would fight my brother on Saturday mornings for the television. He wanted to watch ESPN highlights and I wanted to watch dance competitions, on ESPN, if that counts for anything. The mold formed by my family and society fit me perfectly, or I made myself fit into it.
Now, I’m a smart young woman. You’d never know it. I spend more of my time thinking about finding my Prince charming than I think about eating…and I’m on a diet. In class, I don’t speak up, not because I don’t know but because I’m a lady and I’m to be seen, not heard. I’m spending six years of my life in school for a degree and my parents just want me to find a man and become a housewife.
While all of these things can hold me back at the end of the day, I’m smart. I may not speak up but I know the answer. I’m not waiting on Prince Charming. I find him in myself. I think that gender is a social construction but it’s up to you as an individual to give in to the societal pressures. As a child you may be oblivious to your gender assignment but as an adult, it’s never too late to become the person that you wish.
@AlMills, I wanted to comment on yours not only because you are a cheerleader and I'm a dancer and we've both been on ESPN but because I thought about how empowering it would have been for me to have an older sister to look up to who was strong and independent and smart. I also agree that the growing trend of women holding their own and getting jobs shouldn't be stopped!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a young girl I was never really required to do female dominated things, although I choose to do them myself. I also choose to to do things that were very male oriented as well. At a young age my parents divorced. Because of the separation I would spend time with my mom only, and other time with only my dad. My mom would take me to do women activities such as gymnastics, getting hair done ect. My father, on the other hand, would take me to do male dominated things such as concerts, four wheel riding ect. I am glad that I was able to spend these times with my parents on separate occasions because I received the best of both worlds in terms of male or female dominated activities.
ReplyDeleteBoth of my parents were very young when I was bore. As I grew up I felt I had the cool parents because they were young and knew where I was coming from in a lot of situations. I was encouraged to be independent and a free thinker. I was never really told what I could or could not do so I never felt any gender limitations. I actually enjoyed doing more male activities more than female ones. I would always build tree forts and loved to be in nature.
As a teen I never really followed gender rules either. I would pretty much do what I wanted. And I actually enjoyed doing things males did just so they could see I was tough and not a girly girl. I would have never described myself as a girly girl, therefore I did not want to receive that label. Now I do consider myself a lot more feminine than I use to be. I also can see how females kind of have an advantage over men. We are able to make men basically bow to us. They pay our ways in many different aspects of life such as diner or drinks. Also, females are not treated as harsh in everyday life.
The scrips that I would say that dominate gender are how men are like little puppy dogs. They follow the woman around, they treat her very well, they pay for her things, they hold doors for her, they lift heavy objects. Why do they do all of this? For what reason? Well maybe its because they want to get lucky? Ha. Or maybe its just because they are naturally drawn to the female body. Either way it goes I really enjoy the special treatment I receive from being a female, and I would'nt change it for the world.
I was born a healthy ten pound baby boy. From there on I have lived a typical boy lifestyle. When I turned four I started playing football, fell in love with the sport, an have been playing it ever since. All the men in my family started off the same way I did and later in life continued their passion for sports by either playing professional ball or took up coaching positions.
ReplyDeleteWhen I made it to middle school I became one of the star football players for my team and a captain. Although this is every guys typical dream, I just didn't feel comfortable with the ways some of the guys around me acted so I started to distance myself from them.The only person left to hang out with really was my mom since i didn't have a girlfriend at the time. I wasn't able to chill with my dad like most boys did when they were young because he worked 24/7.When he wasn't working he wasn't around much because he was always out parting with his boys. When he did finally come in he had to sleep in order to wake up for work.
My mom sang a lot and has a really nice voice so I started to pick up on some of her songs. My mom noticed this and put me in the church's chorus. This is when I discovered my talent of singing and joined the chorus. From then on through high school I continued my football career and sang as my outlet. Back then guys who sang where I was from were considered gay but if you know me personally, you know that I am anything but that.
Now that I am in college I am trying to decide should i follow my families sports ambitions or join the UA chorus and continue what has kept me humble for so long. I says all this to bring up my main point. I don't think the outcome of a person is defined by what they are born as. I think it is really determined by the people, environment, and the choices they make for themselves.
@DeMarcus McClain I can relate to what u said completely, thanks for being a real man and admitting u have some feminine ways.
ReplyDeleteAs a child social norm differences between girls and boys were very apparent. As a girl I was suppose to be ladylike, practice manners, and dress as a little girl should. I wore a bow with everything when I was little. It became so ritual that I thought it was somwthing i was suppose to do because thats what little girls wear. Not to say that i did not like wearing my bows, I just thought I had to. My grandmother always tells me the story of how when I was young, we were leaving her house and I was not wearing a bow. I started crying and saying, "my bow. I'm not wearing a bow." She had to go find me a bow to put on before we left. It was something I believed I had to do. All the other girls in my class wore bows in their hair.
ReplyDeleteI think there can be restraints on people due to how society believes someone should act based on their gender. Women who are considered "tomboys" or men who are more feminine are not considered normal. People may feel that they can't be themselves because of pressure from society. I like things that are considered more for boys like football, and i don't consider myself any less of a girl because of it. I like things that are classified girlish and boyish. I think most people do though.
I "do gender" everyday by getting ready like most girls do. I take a shower, do my hair, and put on makeup. I like getting dressed up, but it's definitely not something I like to do every day. Women are expected to look a certain way. We're suppose to be well dressed and put together. I don't really put much thought into "doing my gender" though. I guess I think I act like a girl because I am one, not because i'm trying to be one.
I think magazines and the media are a big influence on how to "do my gender." Magazines such as "Cosmo" and "Vogue," show the latest fashion trends. They are aslo filled with models that girls are "suppose" to look like. Many girls try everything to look like them. Media broadcast the lives of famous women that influence girls everywhere, either positively or negatively. I know that this has an impact on my life and all other girls. Sources telling us how we're suppose to be women. It is something that you can't get around. The media is everywhere, and is a huge part of today's world.
@Grace Wilson I went through the same thing you did. I was a tom boy for a little and then a girly girl, but now I am who I want to be. Anyone should be able to choose who they want to be, and society shouldn't put a label on gender.
ReplyDelete@Deneara P I agree with you in a sense that ladies should "act like ladies", but at the same time it's kind of telling women how they should act to be a true lady. Ladies should be mature and respectful but so should guys too, but I think other people should figure it out for themselves what's "lady like" enough for their needs and what they want.
ReplyDelete@Deneara P I like your comment, I was brought up around a lot of women just like you
ReplyDelete@CatrinaK...I feel like I was in the same boat you were by after my parent's divorce, I would visit my Dad and we would go hunting or four-wheel riding like you said, and with my mom we would go shopping or girly things. I also felt like I had the best of both worlds by my sister and I being able to hang out with each of them and doing fun things with one another.
ReplyDeleteI believe that gender is based off of what you learn from the important people around you and in your life, even though it is somewhat biologically pre-determined by the reproductive organs you are born with. My family and friends have influenced the way I “do gender” and the way I feel about being a woman.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in a family of five, with a mother, father, and two sisters (one older and one younger). Having two sisters and being stuck in the middle definitely helped establish my gender. I was constantly surrounded by barbies, nail polish, and anything pink. Being the middle child was hard; I had to know how to be a little sister but still a big sister. I had to learn how to be a leader and a follower; how to teach things to my little sister and not disappoint my older sister with the things she taught me. I was always seeking approval. I think this had a big impact on my gender, although I’m not completely sure why. Maybe because I learned early on that a lot was expected out of you if you were a girl.
My mother is a very strong lady. She had a husband, three daughters, two dogs, and two cats to take care of. She had gone to college a little bit before she married and had kids, but went back to school to become a nurse so she could help support our family, and I also think it was almost to prove something to herself – that she could be more than just a house wife and stay-at-home mom. My mother tells me stories about how my dad used to walk all over her when my sisters and I were little, how she used to be a pushover until she finally put her foot down. I also think this made her want to go back to college. My mom has always made a point to me to stand up for myself even if it’s against the people I love; that respect is a very large part of love and that disrespect is not something that should be tolerated. My mom has gone through a lot, and I’m lucky to have her to teach me life lessons without having to experience them myself.
Strength is one of the first things that comes to mind when I think of women in general. Women are brought up to be strong. Society puts a lot of pressure on women (media, gender roles, etc.) to be perfect and it can be very hard to deal with. Perfection used to be something I strived for. Even when I was as little as five, I learned how to paint my nails, put barrettes and bows and ribbon in my hair, and also pick out my clothes and shoes. I made good grades and didn’t get in trouble. I followed this trend of being independent all through high school and soon after starting high school I truly felt the pressure of these high expectations. My older sister got pregnant at 19 when I was a sophomore in high school and I spent a lot of my time taking care of her and helping her out, and I still do a lot for her now, such as baby sitting my niece, Allyson while she works. Since my mother is a nurse, she works long, stressful hours and isn’t home a lot so I have learned to pick up the slack. When I used to live at home, my sisters and I would clean the entire house top to bottom. Since my older sister has a daughter now, and my little sister is always busy with extracurricular activities, and my mom and dad are busy working, a lot of responsibility is put on my shoulders and I do most of the work. Doing so much for my family has made me realize that being a woman is hard, but the rewards are worth it. The gender roles and expectations I learned from my mother, sisters, and society in general have influenced me in the establishment of my gender and what I feel it means to be a woman.
@Nicole Sosnow- I also feel like my mother had a great influence of me at an early age. She would always dress me up, buy me dolls and pierce my ears, even though I did not want her to. Our mothers basically forced us into being feminine.
ReplyDelete@Claire Gould- You and I are a lot alike. My mother moved me and my brothers to a different state away from family. Also, we are both children of divorce. We had to overcome a lot of battles in life but that just made us stronger, more independent women.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, as a child, I in no way, shape, or form questioned my gender. I really didn’t think I had a choice. I was a boy, so I did boy things. A lot of people influence my “decision”. Family, both immediate and relatives, also friends of family, mentors, teachers, coaches had a big influence, and so forth. My parents and their siblings drilled into me and the heads of my cousins, and now my brother, that if you’re a male act like a male, and grow into a young man. The same concept went for the females in our family. There is a lot more of them than males, so evidently growing up around a bunch of females didn’t change my gender, despite my dad always being gone due to military. Like I’ve said, I always had the belief that I’m a male, so I’m going to do what is instinctive as a male. I just couldn’t picture myself at all behaving as most females do.
ReplyDeleteWith that said, I’ve never felt any restraints, I have always been satisfied with the opportunities and actives I was given and have been apart of. But I guess I’m only saying that because as a male, I imagine that I get more opportunities than females, although that gap is closing in this generation. But I’ve never wanted to do anything that would require me to be a girl, if that is what the question is asking. I am very satisfied with my gender. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
How do I do gender? Well as far as trying to be a provider and all that jumbo, that is out the window in today’s age because women now are just as much as providing as men are. I’m not saying I do not strive to provide for a potential family, or the family I am a part of now, I’m just saying that I don’t use that to define myself as a man. Growing up, I was taught men were to be respectful to women, everyone for that matter, firm handshake, dress accordingly, and like a man..so no skirts dresses. Behave as a man would talk like a man would, don’t walk around with your wrist bent, just little things that are practiced to where people can definitely distinguish the difference between, me, a man, and a female. Or as you would hear my family tell the boys of our family, “Don’t be a sissy.”
The scripts of my gender come the world around me, the environments I was raised in, and I believe the same goes for everyone. Coming up as a child, you’re still soaking information into your brain. What you seen men do, whether it was your dad, your older brother, a male figure on television, or a random dude. Being a male, you imitated what they did, little boys want to be like dad or big brother, and do what they do, it’s all they know. Little boys didn’t do what girls did because it registered to them that they are not a girl, so they shouldn’t do those girly things. Most little boys were disgusted by things girls did. The boys that played patty cake with the girls in the first grade, well we could pretty much guess the gender they may choose down the road. As far as me challenging my gender, no I have never done that. That is a red flag I will never throw on the field.